X Factor

Filed under: Society

Who fucking cares?

The whole thing is a big joke now. Honestly, who the hell watches it anymore? Oh wait I forgot the whole fucking country. God, I despair.

It’s not even very entertaining anymore, for several reasons. Cheryl Cole. Yes that was one reason; no I don’t care to explain, I think that says enough. Dannii Minouge trying to cling on to some sort of fame; despite living most of her life in the shadow of her more attractive and talented older sister Kylie. Louie is just… there, like some bizarre little mascot. Simon Cowell is there for the money (otherwise I swear he wouldn’t tolerate that shit- day in, day out) and Dermont is just fucking annoying.

Oh there’s also some Asian chick but god knows who she is – she hasn’t got Holly Willoughby’s rack, so who really cares?

I don’t like the live auditions. Why? Because the public are sympathetic morons, who’ll put anyone through. All you have to do is feed them a sob story about how your mother is disabled, your brother is a transvestite, your father left you as a child and you work in your local pub every night, dreaming that one day you’ll be a star( trust me you’ll get through).

Oh fucking boo hoo. Grab a Kleenex and get over it.

Can they sing? No not really, but their mother is disabled! Oh dear we must put them through!

I can just see Simon counting the cash in his head.

If these people can’t sing then they don’t deserve to be put through. It’s that fucking simple

It’s supposed to be about Talent. I don’t give a shit if their entertaining. I have a pink poodle from China that yips and does back flips. That’s entertaining. Can it sing? NO FOR FUCK SAKE. Although saying that it does make yipping sounds, so that’s probably good enough to get through.

The X Factor used to be good; I’ll admit that, but that was a LONG time ago. Before Wagner, before Cheryl Cole, before the live auditions and before the competition started handing out record deals to every sally sob story out there; but now at best it’s just shit reality television.

P.S. Am I the only one who thinks Cher Lloyds is just…. wrong. Those eyebrows are just…wrong…