Tracksuit Couture
Filed under: FashionAside from my hatred of man bags there is another fashion faux-pas that I find inexcusable; track suits. You know who you are, so unless you are exercising, in jail or a bad rapper; there is no valid reason why you should be wearing a track suit out and about. I mean, why for fuck sake?! Because it’s comfortable? Because it’s easy? Neither excuse is good enough (and you know it): it’s not really comfort its laziness and complacency.
I know there have been new developments in sports gear, now there are more “stylish” (read - tacky) options. The thing that gets me though, is wasn’t this particular line of clothing, developed to serve a specific purpose? Like actually wearing it to participate in sport; or am I just being old fashioned? Because God forbid, why would you produce sweatpants that you could actually sweat in; no that’s just stupid isn’t it?
How do I know that people commit this crime: you could say I live in an area that most would consider, “velour ground zero”. Not only that but I am bombarded with retina burning images of celebrities wearing these candy floss vomits. UGG boots AND Juicy Couture, remind me again, why do people think Coleen is fashionable? Although saying that, she hasn’t repeated the sin since, so I will spare her (for now).
Why do you want to look like Barbie vomit?
Another thing; why do people insist on wearing bloody track suits when travelling? I can accept that flying isn’t the most comfortable experience, unless of course you can afford to fly business/first class or own a private jet. However If you can afford the latter, then you might as well give me everything in your bank balance now because you’ve just proved that money does not buy good taste.
It’s beyond me why anyone wants to have the words juicy embroidered on their ass. You might as well wear a carrier bag on your butt, it’d do essentially the same thing; advertise how bad your taste is. Who cares if Madonna wears them (edit- who cares what the viscous crone wears anyway?) they are ugly and sure as hell don’t look like functional sportswear. So basically you’ve just spent a small fortune on over priced jogging pants, in a cheap fabric that makes you look like tacky disaster.
I realise that some Americans don’t share my dislike. Maybe this is because you guys don’t have chavs across the pond (lucky bastards) but I’m sure you have your own share of silicon Barbies to deal with. You know the ones who are so desperate to convince anyone who gives a shit that they can afford designer too. “Look, look at me!” I have my own plastic (no pun intended) to buy designer clothes! It’s candy pink and covered in logos; but I’m like totally grown up enough to know what a blow job is!
Obviously there are the usual suspects, Chavs, Paris Hilton, WAGS, Miley Cyrus (I’m glad she wears them: now I have a valid reason to dislike her forever) who will ignore the voice of common sense and good taste.
Make sure you learn from their mistakes.
P.S Juicy couture have created a plus size range called Extra Juicy; great just what the world needs. Money wasting, fat people in velour track suits. Just fucking great.
