Three to Tango?

Filed under: Miscellaneous

Multiple dating, they make it look so easy in the movies: the girl (who is always glamourous) has an abundance of successful and attractive men to chose from. She also has the natural ability to juggle all these men, without any of them getting even remotely suspicious that they are being played along. Oh and have I mentioned that none of her friends thinks she’s a slut? Ahhh, It sounds too good to be true; that’s because it is.

In reality, the process is much more complicated and tiring than Hollywood would like you to believe. I know this for a fact, because I have tried. I joined a dating website recently and was surprised by the amount of attention I received.

I for one don’t agree with the social stigma that is attached to online dating: what is so wrong about it? It doesn’t prove anything about a persons social life. Most people who are on them (dating websites) simply don’t find themselves in a situation where they are meeting new people. Besides asking out strangers in a real life situation isn’t easy, especially if you can’t find an excuse to get to know them better (again I have been there and done that).

Once I’d deflated my head, I started the long and tedious process of searching through profile after profile for a suitable boyfriend. Recognising that it wasn’t fair to just sit around and wait for the right guy, I did send some of my own emails. To which no one replied; go figure.

I consider dating websites as a tool - like a can opener. Nothing to be ashamed of if you do use it: it’s there to be used so why not?

Anyway, I managed to go on quite a few dates with some very lovely men. It should be said that I was fortunate enough not to meet any creeps/psychos. However I was convinced that I would never in a million years meet two men (at the same time) that I would like. So I dated several men at the same time; bad idea.

Why? Well because it was tiring, I found myself running around (I don’t drive) and spending more money than I could afford (it didn’t seem fair to make them pay for everything). Plus it was hard to keep track of what I’d told who and what I’d already worn out on our previous date(s) and of course the impossible happened…

I ended up liking two men at the same time. I felt awful, I hated the situation I’d gotten myself into because I’m really not that kind of girl. My friends (the less understanding ones) looked at me in a different light and it hurt. Normally I can handle most tricky situations but this one was beyond me: I liked both men and didn’t really want to hurt either of them.

The harsh truth was that, at some point I was going to have to.

Obviously I did chose and I’m now very happy! The guy I let down took it really well, which is always a good thing and I wish him all the best. As for the guy I’ve chosen; he’s wonderful. We compliment one another very well, and although it’s still early days I find myself smiling about the future. It’s a nice feeling and I’m enjoying every moment of it.

So to my “chosen one” this article is dedicated to you: you make me feel good about smiling again. :-)