Manly-cures

You know your girlfriend gets her minge hedge scaped, whether it’s by wax, razor or god knows what else. You are happy with the results, so long as you don’t to witness the ordeal: you are blissfully ignorant. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this: hell the thought of your girlfriend removing bum fluff from her crack is really not sexy; even I admit that.

I know men do it too and although the thought of that is even less attractive, I’m not going to be talking about hair removal today (I did that in another post in case you missed it) No, what I’m getting at, is the male grooming trend that has been catching on… Personally I think it’s great: it’s about fucking time they fussed about with lotions and potions. If women are expected to look youthful and polished; then why should men be exempt from this expectation? The answer is that they shouldn’t and now they aren’t.

For as long as I can remember I’ve always encouraged my boyfriends and male chums to moisturize (with SPF of course) and exfoliate & mask at least once a week – even if they’ll never admit it to anyone else. I found that once they got into the habit of it, it wasn’t actually that much of a hassle; which was what most of them tried to use as an excuse, not to do it.

There is however a point where it stops becoming cute and starts becoming a little creepy. I know this is going to sound hypocritical and awfully sexist but Buddha be dammed – I just find it hard to accept men who get manicures. Eek! The thought of a man with his paws out, chatting away with the beautician about so-and–so freaks the shit out of me. Unless of course he’s gay, which is fine. Why? Because the image does not inspire me to think “alpha protector” – which (I’m ashamed to admit) is what I like to think of my man (even if the reality is that, I’m more macho than he’ll ever be).

It’s probably the animal instinct in me because sometimes, I like to feel female and it’s hard to feel that when the person who’s supposed to be your “hunter” is enjoying a candle lit, lavender bubble bath…

By all means take a relaxing bath, just don’t buy your own lavender bath products (remember the good old days when they used to steal yours?) and if you’re worried about your cuticles then go see a professional but spare me the details: I don’t want to know. Remember the butt fluff? Yeah this is kind of like that: yes we want you to have clean, trimmed nails but we don’t want to know how you got them done.

The funny thing is; I am not a typical submissive female nor am I a ball busting dominant either, so this article was a little difficult to write. Still I think we have to accept that the new groomed, styled man is here to stay (skinny jeans and all - sigh). So as long as he steers clear of the clear nail varnish and the man bags (seriously - don’t %@$£”!+^ do it) then he can stay. Otherwise I fear for the Y chromosome.

I mean come on; do you think James Bond got his nails done? Wait don’t answer that: I don’t think I want to know…