Man Bags

I am losing the war against man bags, and there is nothing I can do about it. Fashion houses & men’s magazines are trying to convince me and the rest of butch kind that it’s OK to carry a handbag; really. Because let’s face it folks, that’s what it is; a handbag. A big ass fucking man sack.

Now I don’t understand it myself; yes maybe it’s prettier than a back pack or a briefcase, but still that doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to sacrifice your alpha pride. I think that’s the thing that bothers me the most; aren’t (heterosexual) men supposed to be manly? Isn’t that, the point of having a penis? I don’t know, maybe I’ve got it wrong (after all I don’t have a penis) but when I saw pictures of Pharrell Williams (ages ago) carrying that HUGE purple monstrosity, two things went through my mind;

1. What. The. Fuck
2. I knew it! He’s gay!

Because only one type of man (in my opinion) can carry a handbag; and that’s a gay man. It’s like my Cosplay belief; only Asians can do it, so only gay men can carry man bags. I’m not taking the piss, nor am I forcing them into a stereotype. I just genuinely believe that gay men have fantastic natural style; and have the right mentality to carry off something socially daring, like a man bag.

So unless you have switched sides then trust me; toting a massive purple croc skin handbag does not exude masculinity. The only time this is somewhat forgivable is if its hand luggage and you’re travelling, otherwise just don’t do it.

P.S Let Snoop Dogg be a reminder for all you kids not to do drugs; because this is what’ll happen. You’ll start carrying man bags and wearing shower caps in public. Not a good look.