Cat Rant #4 - On trying to be a better writer

There’s a lot of competition out there, too much in my opinion; but then again I would say that wouldn’t I? God knows, there are too many people living on earth already, and the less bloggers/writers/self opinionated assholes there are, the better it is for me. However getting rid of some of the competition isn’t going to make me a better writer. I wish it would, but it won’t. The only way that’s going to happen is if I work harder at my writing; which lately, I feel like I haven’t been doing.

This has made me question my ability as a writer/blogger and whether or not I want to be one enough. The problem is, I feel like I never have enough time to write; which is bullshit really considering how much shit TV I watch and how late I get up. Then there’s writers block – the fucking common cold of the writing world. It comes and goes without warning, and annoyingly when I am struck with sudden inspiration, it’s usually at an inconvenient time; like while I’m riding a bicycle or on a Tuk Tuk in the middle of a busy Bangkok road. I know people say that when this happens, the best thing to do is write it down in a notebook quickly. Problem is, I hate carrying handbags (or any bag for that matter) so I never normally have a notebook with me. I guess this is something that I’m going to try and rectify.

I also happen to be quite a defeatist and pessimistic person, which isn’t a great psychological cocktail, but it’s one that I’ve been drinking from all my life (mainly because the taste of optimism makes me want to vomit). Being the way I am does have one perk though – many people think I’m funny. Some people would think otherwise and that’s o.k. too, because I’m like the Marmite of the writing world – you either love it or hate it (don’t know why I’m using that analogy, I personally fucking hate Marmite but you get the idea.)

Not that being funny is going to help me with my grammar (neither is being dyslexic but I’m not going to bitch and moan about that), which is something that I’m going to have to practice and perfect by myself. What does help though is the support from readers, who tell me that they enjoy reading what I have to say, and have been doing so since my Deadjournal days back in 2002. I’d like to say that I’ve changed in that time but I don’t think I have: I was a angsty teenager back then, I’m an angsty adult now (but with bigger boobs- yay!).

So although I was recently tempted to close down all my blogs, I’ve now realised that I don’t want to do anything else: I love writing and have been doing so for 10 years. Giving up now would be like letting the less passionate, less articulate morons win; and we wouldn’t want that now, would we?